I'm A G... Entleman. Let's Get Reaquainted

Black Girls Are Easy: Your Pussy Wasn't Worth It.

Black Girls Are Easy: Don't Put A Ring On It.

“I can’t care less about being the man you want me to be… I’m not currently the man I want to be.”

I just finished reading this post on BlackGirlsAreEasy.com (link will be posted today at noon) that has me thinking a lot. Over the last month in a half, I’ve done some serious looking at my personality, and my nuances.

I’ve finally gotten to a point where I honestly can say where my only concern is looking a certain way only to the person who can see me in a mirror - me.

I’ve spent too much time trying to “look” successful and accomplished in the eyes over everyone else, as opposed to defining what success is to me and being that. And the sad part is, in the eyes of others, I looked successful, and I’m really not proud of myself overall.

It’s good I’m coming to this realization, but this is only the first step, I still have a long way to go.

“He Won’t Open Up To Me”… Well, let me attempt to explain…

Background: A friend of mine on FB made a status speaking on why a woman’s mind wanders and over-thinks because of her male counterpart not opening up and speaking to her. This is my response to her statement.

I would argue that the problem isn’t necessarily men who don’t show their emotions. Especially considering a lot of women can’t handle or appreciate a man who is willing to show or share his emotions, but that’s another conversation.

The problem is in how men and women are different in how we build friendships with each other (you know, that really good basis for a relationship). When men are boys and they meet other boys, the way they become friends in much different than how young girls become friends with one another. For boys, friendships are established and built upon shared experiences. It can be something as stupid as finding something weird and going to poke it with a stick, or something as basic as playing sports together, or even getting in a fight. For young girls, friendships are established and built upon exchange of information and secrets. It can be something as small as one girl telling the other one which boy she likes, or one showing the other how to do something she didn’t know how to do before.

As the two genders grow into men and women, how those relationships are built don’t change. The problem is, women expect to build bonds with men in their lives one way, and men expect to build bonds another. Which is why communication is a REALLY big deal with women, and why if a guy doesn’t “open up” and let his lady into his biggest secrets, she feels “distant” from him. It’s also why guys care a lot more about going out and doing stuff with someone he likes rather than sitting and talking. On a personal level, I’d much rather a woman show me who she really is when we’re out together, than her tell me what she is.

So, the first essential thing understanding the difference in how we (as in men and women) view building a relationship, the second is finding the balance between the two forms of bond building.

Now a lot of this is just my theory that is the result of observation, hearing conversations and my personal thoughts and experiences. But I’d Like to hear what YOU have to say. What are your views on the difficulty in building bonds with significant others?

Hey, Here's a 2.5 hour movie that rhymes with REVENGERS for everyone to watch tonight. ^_____^